Flashback

Tonight as I was at my parents house, I came across the box of my Gram's old diaries. She kept a diary of her everyday activities as far back as I can remember. I've been wanting to read them again but just haven't been able to bring myself to do it.

She passed away in 2003 and the memory is still as fresh in my mind as if it happened yesterday. We were so close and the pain is still so real.

I looked through a couple of them and some things made me chuckle, some made me smile and some brought tears to my eyes. On the days she went on a trip, she would fold the pages. Thumbing through them, I was amazed at the amount of trips she went on. She was notorious for taking a day trip to the casino - even if it were on a whim. And she loved longer vacations too.

It's even more apparent to me after reading some excerpts just how much I meant to her. I'm pretty sure I'm mentioned on at least every other page, if not every page. :) That melted my heart. I really wish my boys could have met her. She was a spunky, fun loving, caring, compassionate and big-hearted woman. Even into her late 70's she was not "old". She never seemed "old" to me. She dressed very fashionably, had a well kept, modern styled home and was VERY active.

I pray I'm half the woman she was in her lifetime!!
Boy...how I enjoyed the flashback and trip down memory lane, but oh how it hurts.....